I have had to face many challenges in my life and it won’t come to an end because that is what life is all about. And, I cannot compare how difficult my life has been to others in general, because I can’t. I simply do not know what people go through behind closed doors. People put on facades on social media, but that only brings out the highlights of their blessings. I have been guilty of doing the same thing. Because let’s face it. Who wants to read daily dirty laundry?
However, one thing that I do know is that I have had it harder than many others in some areas of life. I am also sure that I have had it easier in some aspects as well. But what I do know is that based on the fact that I have talked about my challenges to others, people always make comments about how difficult my life really has been.
Between being picked on endlessly as a kid, battling mental health issues, battling weight, struggling with school as a kid, facing infertility even though it was mild, and struggling to raise a child with special needs who now attends and lives in a residential school (which was not easy to get him into btw), and so on— my life has been far from easy.
I am not saying this to make anyone feel sorry for me. Please, no, I don’t want that! No. I am just stating the facts about what I know about my life and how my challenges have affected me as a whole. And here is the other thing which now leads to what this post is about.
I am not a snowflake, as I am able to brush off offensive stuff online by scrolling past it without making a sound (other than seeing child abuse or animal cruelty, then I won’t stay quiet and any decent human being would not either) However, what I cannot stand- the one thing that is like fingernails on the blackboard- the one that is like being forced to listen to bluegrass noise over and over again (which is pure torture) is being called a warrior!
For the love of God, never ever ever ever ever call me a warrior, and please don’t say how ‘strong’ I am. Why do I hate being called those things so much?
Well firstly, I am not some superhuman being that has been given a tough hand just for the sake of conquering it. I wasn’t given a tough hand just for the sake of others watching me deal with it and say oh my goodness, you are so strong and amazing. I don’t appreciate being put high up on a pedestal and then to be called a ‘failure’ when I fall off- which is inevitable considering I don’t belong there anyway. I am an individual who has the same needs, wants, desires, likes, dislikes and so on just like anyone else! I am not worthy of more or of less.
I was dealt a shitty hand in life, and I did what anyone else would do if they were given many challenges in life. Work with it the best way you can, and find a way to win to the shitty hand. Because that is what I have been doing, and that does not make me a remarkable human. I am just finding ways to navigate these challenges the best ways that I can. I also knew I had to take my head out of the sand after a certain point (and believe me I have been in denial about a lot of things in the past) in order to find solutions of some sort.
Whenever I hear anyone call me a warrior or say that I am strong, I also hear what the individual is really saying underneath all of that. And that is thank goodness you are the one dealing with these challenges and not me. It also pisses me off a great deal whenever anyone says oh wow, I could never deal with what you are facing. Well actually, my bet is, yes, yes you could if you were faced with any tough challenge.
Whenever I hear how much of a warrior I am, or how strong I am, I also hear pity through that label. That goes along with the attitude of thank goodness you are the one who is dealing with that and not me.
So that means if you want to know how I handled my hardships, then ask! I won’t bite your head off if you genuinely want to know without being judgemental in any way. But if you ever say how strong I am, then expect to have your head bitten off. I will never stand for being called a warrior or being told that I am strong!