Hiding Something Behind that “Holier than Thou” Attitude?

holier than thou

I am not perfect. In fact I am far from perfect. I make mistakes and I make a lot of mistakes. There is always room for improvement in my life. I am work in progress. But at least I have the guts to admit it! And if I don’t like something or even someone, I will not hesitate to say it. I just won’t name names out in the open so I can save myself a lawsuit. I don’t know, maybe I can be too blunt at times especially if someone rubs me the wrong way. I realize no one is perfect either, and how could I expect otherwise since I am not? But I will tell you what trait in an individual I DO NOT tolerate.

Before I go on, I am not even talking about general hypocrisy such as environmental activists secretly throwing litter on the ground. Okay that is annoying and I do not like it. However if that is the worst trait that someone has, I can look beyond it. Who am I to judge? I am sure I have said one thing and have done the opposite as well.

But this is what really gets to me. Those who have a “holier than thou” attitude On yes those types REALLY rub me the wrong way. Especially if these people come off as “spiritual” or are the ones that are professing “love and peace”. They can never admit they are not perfect like the rest of us. They will always find faults in others and will make it seem as if you had committed the worst crime over something incredibly benign. And they will always add that they have a degree in psychology or law, and an x number of years of experience in a particular field to back up their argument. They will always find an excuse to say you have the problem and they don’t. And the most amusing part about these people is that they are actually the LEAST perfect of all! They are the ones that are the most insecure and unhappy, are heavily in denial, and needless to say they have a lot of inner work to do! They are the ones who need to take a good look in the mirror and realize that they are anything but “holier than thou”. I would think that deep down they know that, or maybe not. They may have trained themselves to believe their own “truths” or rather lies for so long they really do believe they are perfect.

Yes, I did have a run in with one earlier. This woman I had met through a mutual friend several weeks ago. She had a lot in common with me. I did like her at first but she did have her moments of taking things the wrong way. I suspected she got offended easily so I made sure I was careful with my words with her. But I did not try hard enough apparently. This morning I had told her something quite benign and she twisted it right around, put words into my mouth, and told everyone in a group where we were in everything I told her in confidence. She made a mockery out of me. Well tried to anyway. In the end, she ended up appearing as the fool and because I walked away I came out being the good one. However, one mistake I made while I was having my argument with her was calling her an idiot. I don’t regret calling her that for the sake of her. I really could have said to worse to her if I wanted to. But the reality is, I shot myself in the foot by calling her names. Obviously she was very hurt by that comment and things escalated after that. I called her an idiot, and she all of a sudden became even more “holier than thou”.

I may be still quite upset by what she did, but it sure helps to blog :) Eventually she will come into a situation that will really knock her to her knees and make her realize that she is anything but “holier than thou”.

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Written by Miriam


Miriam Slozberg is an author, SEO and social media specialist teaching small business owners on how to be influential in their niches and to harness the power of social media. Connect with her on Google+, Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

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6 Responses to Hiding Something Behind that “Holier than Thou” Attitude?

  1. Dorien Morin October 8, 2011 at 1:30 am #


    I noticed you commented on quite a few of blogs in our Facebook group, so I wanted to return the kindness and go and comment on yours. I didn’t check to see what it was about…:) Wow, you had a bad run in, didn’t you. So sorry to hear that. I find it difficult myself to stay calm, collected and reasonable when situations like yours arrive. Glad to hear you felt much better after blogging about it. I believe in Karma. ‘What goes around, comes around’. Don’t worry; that holier-than-though attitude will bite her in the ##$, eventually.

    • Miriam October 9, 2011 at 2:39 pm #

      Thanks Dorien and yeah you are so right. Those who have that “holier than thou” attitude will get a wake up call one day. Something that will force them to see they are not better than everyone else like they want to believe.

  2. Margaret (Peggy) Herrman October 9, 2011 at 11:41 am #

    Miriam, one personality inventory (the one I love) would call these people “persisters” or folks who care passionately about ideas. I am one at the core & realize I need to moderate (I do much more now than when I was young). There are extremes on the left and right. I leave both alone and prefer working in the middle. I also try not to engage that passion since I know it brings out the worst in me. anyone who knows me knows I can go there, I just prefer to be more in the middle and helpful to folks. Walking away from negativity is not a bad thing. Doc Peg :-)

    • Miriam October 9, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

      Hi Peggy thanks for sharing and it is good you realized that. Staying right in the middle is the best really!

  3. Bluebell @ Grace and Flowers October 10, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    I definitely get riled up with people like this too! Especially when working with the public, when there’s someone like this who won’t admit fault it’s really hard. You just have to do your best to accommodating without letting them walk all over you.


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